Buttcrack

I have an all-time favorite word,

That mommy frowns upon.

She throws a fit, wants me to quit,

To which I say, “C’mon Mom!”

 

Like cheese, it goes with everything,

My favorite word’s terrific.

But as soon as it rolls off my tongue,

My mommy’s my worst critic.

 

Don’t say that Buddy, that’s not nice,

What on earth will people think?

Of all the words that you could choose,

Your favorite one just stinks.

 

I beg to differ mommy,

It’s the best word that exists.

Much better than your bad ones,

Shall I start to make a list?

 

How ’bout Parasaurolophus?

Your favorite dinosaur.

That word is neat, it can’t be beat,

All moms will sure adore.

 

Dinosaurs are cool and all,

But not at all real funny.

But my word is, for real, it is!

And this I’d bet your money.

 

I just can’t stop, I will not stop!

This world needs much more laughter.

Mommy doesn’t understand,

Thinks my word means disaster.

 

May I suggest sweet mother,

We agree to disagree.

I’ll say my words, you say yours,

We’ll live in harmony.

 

Just please don’t say your word in school,

Or any public place.

Your words reflect my parenting,

Please save your mom some face.

 

But sharing is the best part mom,

Why can’t you plainly see?

Depriving others from its charm?

I simply can’t agree!

 

I use my words for good not bad,

I know that they have power.

You taught me that, remember mom?

No need to look so sour.

 

Now say it with me, say it proud,

Come hold my hand dear mama.

Stand up with me and take a chance,

No need for all the drama.

 

Are you ready, I sure am!

Now on the count of three.

Here we go Mom, let’s be loud Mom!

One, Two, Three!

 

Buttcrack! Buttcrack! Buttcrack!

Morning, noon, and night.

BUTTCRACK! BUTTCRACK! BUTTCRACK!

Did you feel your soul ignite?!

 

Buttcrack! (louder!) BUTTCRACK!!!

Hey mom, you feel me now?

I spread joy across the land,

What’s your superpower?

 

And if you really want to see,

Your mommy start to shiver.

Then add a “poopy” out in front,

Oh look, she’s all a quiver.

 

Poopy Buttcrack!  Poopy Buttcrack!

I’ve had one, so have you.

Might have one now, who cares, stand proud,

What goes in must go through.

 

It’s called vocabulary,

And building it’s so fun!

Letters, words, then sentences,

I’ve only just begun!

 

It seems you’ve really thought this out,

That means your brain is working!

And mommy couldn’t be more proud,

Look close, I think I’m smirking.

 

I love you Mom, you taught me well,

I’m funny, just like you.

Let’s hug it out and scream and shout,

POOPY BUTTCRACKS RULE!!!

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