Season’s Greetings to those who engage in merrymaking at this special time of year!
We are eyeball deep into what we like to call the Christmas season around here. The music, the lights, the perfect ornamental displays scattered about the house bearing the invisible “do not touch or else” signage, the non-verbal threat the mere presence of a shady elf figure represents, all equally playing an important role in the ever-present joy that continues to erupt out of our chimney in a mystical cloud of glittery holiday cheer. Good luck getting down that bad boy Santa, it’s full. Find another route!
My name is Buddy and I’m 4 years old. This is my first year being truly present in the holiday season. Despite the continuous loop of Christmas music my mom has playing at a distasteful volume in the van, it seems pretty cool. I saw Santa at the mall the other day and gave him a half-hearted wave from five stores down and one story up while sucking my thumb and holding onto mommy’s neck for dear life (I love my mommy). I also love cars, monster trucks, superheroes, dinosaurs, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I’m cute as a button and growing like a weed. Not sure why because I never eat my veggies. Ever (Eew). My favorite words are “poop” and “butt crack.” Just try not to smile when they come out of my adorable little mouth contextually sound. Consider it a dare.
Miss K turned 10 this year and is currently in her last year of elementary school (YIKES!). I really like Miss K a lot. She’s so nice to me and just an all around great big sister. She keeps busy with basketball, piano, choir, and mothering me where mommy falls short. She enjoys unloading the dishwasher and eats all of her vegetables with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. In lieu of Christmas gifts this year, she is asking that everyone donate to save the pandas (Yep). She’s a good kid and “behavior wise” the best in our bunch by a mile (Mom and Dad included). She was born that way. I guess you either got it or you don’t. Let’s move on to ‘the empress.’
Princess Mae just turned 8, but I’m sure you got the memo on that already. She and I have absolutely nothing in common. Regardless, I make it my daily goal to connect with her on a brotherly level in so many special ways. It’s a thankless job, but I’m highly committed. The sparkle that Her Highness brings into our lives on a daily basis is simply beyond measure. Trying to contain it at a manageable level can prove to be a bit of a parental challenge. She simply wasn’t made to live under such ordinary conditions. She was meant to run free in a make-believe land of rapping unicorns, storytelling miniature pink poodles handing out free cotton candy, and an inviting sea of cool chocolate milk to take a dip in when the stress of it all becomes a bit too much to bear. We’ve collectively put forth our best efforts as a family to encourage a stronger grip on reality, but the resistance we are met with far exceeds anything we are humanly capable of successfully dealing with. As a result, we regrettably admit the existence of the unicorn from now until THE END OF TIME and in exchange get to keep our heads. It’s really a no brainer.
Mommy and Daddy are doing great. They each turned 40 this year and handled it better than expected, given their age. Daddy continues to keep everyone guessing in regard to what his job really entails as it seems to change on a weekly basis, but it’s all just part of his cover. Only I know the truth. He’s Spiderman…but don’t tell Mommy. She’ll just worry.
Mommy is the best mommy in the whole entire world. Granted I have no point of comparison, but she means well, she tries really hard, and thank goodness she’s not a quitter. She hopes to one day be hailed ‘a satirical genius’ after writing a book about nothing parenting related. I’d buy it…if she let me…and gave me some money.
May your season be filled with laughter, love, good health, humble gratitude, a little sparkle, just the right amount of Christmas music to suit your particular taste, and an easily accessible entry point for Santa Claus and his poopy butt crack.
Buddy (not the elf)