Mommy Wars.

Apparently it’s a real phenomenon. You might ask, “Are you f**king kidding me?” To which I would reply with an eye roll, “Apparently not.”

This is to date the most ridiculous thing I have ever been exposed to in my entire life.

Mommy Wars.

It’s a buzz term. Google it, hashtag it, shout it three times from a mountain top.  Then sit back and prepare to be amazed at the overwhelming amount of material out there and the absurd amount of people who choose to partake in the festivities. 

Reality check.  Of all the shit going on in our world today, the fact that the term war is affiliated with motherhood is simply laughable.  So many people with so many opinions that at the end of the day, if added all up, would result in one big ball of insignificant crap.

Make no mistake, this is a direct WTF to every critic out there who is so quick to judge others for the sake of reinforcing their own superiority complex.  Seriously, STFU and read your kids a book or something.

Here’s the harsh reality for every mommy out there (myself included). You might want to sit down for this one.

You are a mom. You are not a super hero, nor are you special.  Billions of people have assumed the same role as you since the beginning of time.  It’s true.  Get over yourself.

Furthermore, you don’t have the answers to life’s most sought after questions regarding all things that fall under the parenting umbrella. Nobody does, because there is no clear answer and/or manual to follow that ensures your children will grow up to be happy, well-adjusted adults and will thereby contribute to society in a positive and meaningful way.  Try your best, love your kids (a lot), have a glass of wine, and relax.  It’s not rocket science.

Anyone new to the game, please allow me to introduce a few of the hot button topics out there regarding “all things motherhood” that have sparked so much debate over recent years followed by my very humble two cents worth.

Organic food? Go for it, or not.  Whatever.  I grew up eating Spam, liverwurst sandwiches on white bread, and fruit rollups, and I even graduated from college (gasp!).  

To schedule or not to schedule? Here’s a thought, go with the flow and see what the day brings.  You can pencil these exact words into your calendar if it makes you feel better.

Breast feeding versus bottle feeding?  Give me a break.  Read the research (or not), make a decision, and give your kid a damn hug.  They’ll be just fine, regardless of your decision.

Co-sleeping versus not? With your child’s safety at the forefront of your decision making process, do whatever it takes for you to get a couple hours of sleep.  By the way, good luck with that in either scenario.

To craft or not to craft? I choose the latter.  I highly doubt this personal decision will ever negatively influence my children’s well being.  If it does, so be it.  I hate crafts.

To work, or not to work? I’ve done both, and guess what?  Neither one is better than the other at the end of the day.  For real.  The constant bitch fest that occurs between SAHMs and working moms is exhausting.  Be honest.  You both wish you could be the other one every once in a while.  Some food for thought.  The grass isn’t always greener.  Insight is a magical thing and can surprisingly reign in even the most superior of egos.

To criticize or not to criticize? Not.  Never ever.  Seriously.  Watch your own damn bobber.

I digress.

Why am I so upset about something so silly?

Because I read the news the other day.

I never do it. Quite honestly, it scares me to death.  I can’t allow myself to get distracted and/or anxious over things I have absolutely no control over.  If I did, my kids would never leave the house. Ever.

Headlining topics of that day:

  • Mommy wars (See above):  Very important stuff right there.
  • Terrorists plotting, training, hating (everyone):  We sit and wait for them, again, but we are told time after time not to let fear influence how we live our life because then “the bad guys win.”
  • Ebola:  Fucking scary.  That’s it.
  • School shootings, bullying, and all other things school related:  This is what I know on the topic.  It gets more and more difficult for me to smile (knowing what I know), and enthusiastically insist to my children on a daily basis, “Have a great day at school kids” before retreating back inside the house biting my nails and trying desperately to distract myself…from myself.Maybe I should read the news?” Ugh.
  • How about a tear jerker that slams some real and very raw perspective in our faces? Consider the story of a 29 year old recently married woman who was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and as a result has made the unimaginable and beyond devastating and painful decision to end her life on her own terms in just a few short days.  I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it, and quite honestly can’t stop thinking about her as a result.

She had hopes of being a mom.  She will never be one.  What kind of mom would she have been if given the opportunity and would you approve of her methods?

Mommy wars.

Pretty unimportant at the end of the day, huh?


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