“Mommy, I don’t like it when you scream.” I have heard this from my 2 older children more times than I would care to admit. Here’s my response. Really? I mean, do you really think that I take some sort of sick pleasure in yelling at you? Do you think that I enjoy it? Because I do not. My voice box hurts, and I have a chronic pounding headache. I have permanent “scream lines” on my face that will never go away! And here’s something more, every time I raise my voice at you, a part of me dies inside. It dies because my full time job right now is raising YOU and teaching you how to be respectful and decent human beings. It dies because when I scream, it means that you do not respect your own mother, and as a result I have failed as one. How’s that for turning the tables? Who feels bad now?
Do you want a real explanation? For the screaming? Well by all means, let me give it a go. I scream because you SUCK at listening. I scream because I have asked you 17 times in a “nice mommy voice” to pick up your shit and do your homework. It is not my homework, it is YOUR homework. Why do I care? I have an education. I can read and do simple math. I scream because if I have to say, “If I have to say it one more time…” ONE MORE TIME, I am going to punch MYSELF in the face. I scream because the alternative is ugly. I scream because you respond to me when I scream. Am I a monster? No. I am your mother. Why aren’t you intimidated by me? Is this a joke to you? If it wasn’t so socially unaccepted to spank you, I would spank you instead of scream. Do you have a preference?
Here’s some food for thought…Your dad got the “whipping stick” when he was a kid. A stick that was, from what I’ve been told, used so frequently it required several reapplications of duct tape to remain intact and fully functional. How does that sound to you?
Do you hear me now?!
Jill Veldhouse 