Although behind closed doors I often cuss like a drunken sailor, I am quite conscious of what I say in front of my children. As a result, they are pretty innocent when it comes to “adult language.” My daughter came home from school once and appeared extremely concerned about something. “Mom, I don’t know any bad words and a lot of my friends do.” She was very troubled and sad. Hmmmm??? What do I say to that?
Here’s what I was thinking at first…, “Well done Jill! You are truly an amazing mother and hands down deserve some sort of medal or reward for playing a vital role in raising such an all around good kid!” And then my thought process took a very dark turn. “Oh my god! Is my child THAT child in her class?” You know, the one who is so unbelievably naive and cocooned in innocence that she will become the butt of her classmates jokes (if she isn’t already?)?! Oh my god! What have I done?! Should I teach her one? And if so, which one? Not the really bad one of course. Maybe “damn,” or “hell,”…or will I go there if I do?! Because I for sure don’t want that. I have enough strikes against me in that department. Maybe next time I stub my toe I should scream “SON OF A BITCH” instead of “DRAT.” Maybe I should take her to a PG-13 movie. Maybe I should let her spend an unsupervised weekend with my Dad. Then it wouldn’t really be my fault, and I seemed to turn out ok, right? Don’t answer that.