Self Diagnosis

The Urban Dictionary defines “Bitchy Resting Face” as follows:  “A bitchy alternative to the usual blank look most people have. This is a condition affecting the facial muscles, suffered by millions of women worldwide. People suffering from bitchy resting face (BRF) have the tendency to look hostile and/or judgmental at rest. Their expression does not necessarily reflect how they are feeling inside. BRF can ruin friendships and first impressions, start fights, and kill an atmosphere.”  My sister introduced me to the term BRF after she came upon an online video describing it (Google it on your internet machine for more information).  It was a wake-up call for both of us that required some real self-reflection.

Here’s the truth.  BRF is a real phenomenon.  I think I have it.  I think it affects my ability to make friends (aside from the fact that I don’t really want any more friends.)  I’m very much an introvert.  I don’t like meeting new people.  I have a handful of “really good friends” and I don’t want/need anymore.  The process of building friendships is exhausting for me.  By the time I am comfortable “being myself” around new acquaintances, they have tired of me, and I of them.  This most definitely plays a role into why I was so unsuccessful in the Mom’s Club.  I don’t like small talk.  I don’t like trying to make a good first (second, third, fourth…) impression.  It’s stressful for me.  Probably because my self-esteem ranges anywhere from rock bottom to pretty sucky on any given day.  I don’t want to worry about hiding my US Weekly Magazine and displaying my Parenting magazine in plain view to gain some sort of acceptance as a stay at home mom.  I don’t want to worry about what other people think about me, especially other “perfect moms” who appear in my mind to have been plucked from the movie “Pleasantville.”  I wish I was “bubbly.”  I wish I had one of those personalities that people are drawn to.  The fact is, some of my nearest and dearest friends have told me that I scared them for quite some time after meeting me.  I’m not sure if I’m proud or extremely concerned by that.  Probably a little of both…

My name is Jill Veldhouse and I have Bitchy Resting Face.


2 responses to “Self Diagnosis

  1. I love it Jill!! All that you have written- I AGREE!! Im just too afraid to admit it-LOL!!
    I think i might have this face- but I KNOW I HAVE FRIENDS WITH IT!!!
    Fun to hear things I have thought-but was afraid to “share”!!!ha
    Chat soon~Jen

  2. You are the most easy-going person ever, Jill! The level of patience you have must qualify you for sainthood at some point. Although BRF is absolutely hysterical, you, my friend, do not have it! I know we don’t talk often, but I count you as one of my dearest friends. Miss you terribly!

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