Crazy, party of one

I worry a lot. And not just normal worrying either. I worry to a level that if any one person truly understood, he/she would probably worry about me. I worry that my children are growing up in a world that is being controlled more and more by fear with each passing day. I don’t/can’t watch the news anymore. I worry that if I see one more broadcast of a school shooting that I will lock my children in the basement and throw away the key. I worry that my children will grow up and one day not like me. I worry that if my children don’t like me someday, everything I have done, am doing, and will do for them will be meaningless in their eyes.

I want more than anything for my children to become well-adjusted, respectful, and happy people.

I worry that this is too big a task for me. I worry that I drink too much wine. I worry that I spend too much money on wine. I worry that I don’t care that I drink or spend too much money on wine. I worry that if one more person makes a sarcastic comment to me about “not working” that I will punch them in the face.

I probably need therapy.

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3 responses to “Crazy, party of one

  1. All so true! Well written!
    I was home fulltime with my kids for 10+ (she is 15, he’s 11) years and now have returned to working outside the home (which I can’t lie, is like a vacation compared to working fulltime at home as mom) and now I find myself worrying that I didn’t do as good of a job preparing my kids as I had hoped I had. I need to listen more to the people in my community who are always praising me for a job well done. Will we ever believe we have done our mothering well?
    I am enjoying your blog!
    Thank you!

  2. I consider wine my therapy most days 🙂
    The fact that you are “worrying” about being a good mom, means you are a good mom! Never doubt yourself!
    I enjoy your honesty and ability to share it with the world, its very inspiring!

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