I know it must be hard for you…being covered in kid urine day after day after ever loving day, much like it is hard for me to observe it from afar. It’s led to neglect on my part and I’m truly sorry. Please don’t blame yourself, it’s obviously not your fault. It’s no secret who the real perpetrator is here. That said, you absolutely disgust me and I’m tired of being the only one who figuratively gives a shit.
Why no one else is bothered by you and/or cares is something I have yet to wrap my head around. I have clearly failed at raising dignified and responsible human beings. Lifting the seat is obviously too difficult a concept for an almost 7 year old that can operate every single technological gadget in the world better than his mother to grasp. I get it. There are limits to one’s capabilities. And why his older sisters are not bothered by what he does to you in the least and simply choose to nonchalantly sit down and get back up again without batting an eyelid or wasting a worry will never in this lifetime make sense to me. They wouldn’t extend a hand in need to one another if their lives depended on it (because it requires actual physical touch), but they purposely choose to sit atop each other’s liquid body waste on a repeated and daily basis without so much as a tiny flinch. It’s bewildering to me. I’m bewildered.
I can’t help but wonder, will we ever reach a point that your frequently returning customers will decide it’s time to take action? Is there a point where they will be bothered, even just slightly, by regularly sitting in what is in no uncertain terms to anyone that can actually see with their own eyes more dried on piss splatter than actual toilet seat? Can you maybe just suck one of them in once to give the other two a bit of a fright? You can give him/her back at some point but only if they’ve learned a valuable lesson and are fully committed to behavioral change. If not, just take them all one by one into the still dark soupy sea of shit that lies beneath and you and I can get reacquainted. I’ve missed you.
Don’t judge me either! I’ve tried. I’ve given tutorials, repeated demonstrations, verbal reinforcement, and threatened small lives. I’ve place a canister of organic, environmentally friendly, grass-fed, non-GMO disinfecting wipes within simple reach and I’ve shown them how to properly open and use one (or ten). I’ve observed, I’ve coached, I’ve pretended I am a boy while actually attempting to pee AS A GIRL standing up over a raised toilet seat. “See, Mommy can do it and she doesn’t even have a thing.”
Here’s what I’m going to do and please know that this is not easy for me to say. I’m not going to wipe you off anymore. I’m not even going to look in your general direction. You’ll be in my constant thoughts and prayers but there’s really nothing I can do for you at this point. They’ve done this to you. Remember that. With any glimmer of hope, maybe in eleven or twelve years I can cop a squat and we can pick up where we left off. After all, no one sees me the way you do. Don’t worry, I’ll always remember the good times.
Godspeed repugnant friend.